We want to start by thanking you for the many calls, letters and expressions of

love and prayer since our last letter. We were truly blessed and I wish I could

individually talk to each of you or thank you personally in writing but I must

conserve my strength for now. We literally felt carried through by your prayers

and love and messages of hope. I want to share a little of my own experience

during this time for your encouragement.

Gal 6:9 (LB) tells us, "Let us not get tired of doing what is right for after a

while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't get discouraged and give

up". As I'm sure you are aware, we got discouraged - very discouraged. I'm so

glad the conditions of that verse say, "and give up" - not "or give up". For we

never did give up, not even in the darkest moments. Therefore our harvest is

intact and continuing to ripen and we will reap it. God said so! And your

prayers are playing a major role in all God is doing and will do on our behalf.

The Holy Spirit recently answered my ongoing question which I've addressed in so

many letters previously: "What does it mean 'having done all to stand' and 'how

do I do that?'" He answered me by singing hymns to me in the night. I had gone

to bed after days of worry over new outbreak of growth on my leg like that on my

feet. Although it is all so humanly hopeless, this new attack seemed to

threaten me beyond what I could endure. I begged God to give me a word about

this one thing - I needed assurance - I was scared. After several days of

silence I was so broken before the Lord I just wanted Him to let me die - my

body and emotions were overwhelming my spirit and my will was on the verge of

following but couldn't. As I shared with my pastor later on, I realized I had

entered a place of identification with those who escape through drugs or

assisted suicide. I fully understood those temptations while being kept by God.

Looking back I sense God allowed me to enter a new level of compassion for the

suffering so that when I come out of here I will never judge or look down on

those who are in those places but, like Jesus, having suffered, be able to

extend His grace and mercy in a way I could not have before. For up until then

I had, for the most part, been so strong in my suffering that I could not relate

to those things. I gained a whole new appreciation of Jesus taking on all our

weakness and being made in every way like us so He could identify and plead for

us as our High Priest. This is alive for me now - not just head knowledge - and

it is perhaps the most wonderful thing I have ever known about Him relationally.

Let me digress to the Lord's answer to my need for a word about my leg. There

are two lines in the hymn "How Firm a Foundation" that the Holy Spirit sang to

me: "What more can He say than to you He has said; To you who for refuge to

Jesus hath fled". The Lord went on singing "Fear not I am with you O be not

dismayed for I am Your God I will still give you aid; I'll strengthen you, help

you and cause you to stand upheld by My righteous omnipotent Hand." - on and on

He sang in my spirit - then on to "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand": "His oath,

His covenant, His blood support me in the whelming flood; when all around my

soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay". Then on to "My faith has

found a resting place not in device or creed; I trust the Everliving One, His

wounds for me shall plead. I need no other argument, I need no other plea. It

is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me!" Oh, how calm and sweet was

this revelation. I didn't need a special word. There was nothing more for Him

to say and nothing more for me to do - having done all I was standing and even

that was by His Hand!

I began to finally understand entering His rest - something I have wanted for

years. The Lord's last words to me that night were, "Don't ever trust

yourself". Without realizing it, I had been constantly reverting to self trust.

Self had me convinced it deserved a better lot, it could and must do more, it

was a shame for Cora to be weak or fail, that God had done so much in her she

could now be trusted. No, Cora will never be my friend - she has her own agenda

and it is not God's. She leads me down old familiar, comfortable paths that

fight against the spirit. She must die daily - I will never be done dealing

with her on this earth and she is very strong. But thanks be to God for His

Spirit who is stronger and is helping me to see her and subdue her so I can

enter His rest and walk in it.

In closing I want to speak to those who have expressed loving concerns about our

stand for healing. First of all, we are not in denial about my condition. We

have fully faced it and looked at it as Abraham did when he considered his body

as good as dead yet believed. Secondly, we are not standing on theology or any

man's teaching. Years ago God sent me a prayer partner to seek God with me - to

discover His will concerning my physical condition so we could pray without

being double-minded or wavering. It took years of prayer and seeking but God

revealed His will and Himself, not only concerning me personally but gave me a

great vision and prayer for His Body. Since 1985 I have sought, waited, heard,

received, believed and endured through the mighty work of the Holy Spirit

according to God's promise that if we seek Him with a whole heart He will be

found by us. (Jer. 29:13) I found more than I ever dreamed of and was led in

prayer to a place of "having done all to stand". We are not trying to do

something we dreamed up or interpreted from the Word ourselves. Therefore,

shall we give up? Never. To do that would be to deny the One who called us and

has promised to fulfill that calling in us. Please don't grieve for us.

Although we have suffered much, we have been given the honor and privilege of

being called to take such a stand in God's Kingdom purposes. And we fully

believe God will restore the years the locusts have eaten and return us to the

Body full of His compassion, life and power.

I just wanted to share this month's experience with you all. And I want to

encourage you to seek Him in areas where your life is in turmoil. He will show

you the way. That way may involve suffering, seeming contradiction and delay,

but wait patiently for the Lord and when His will is revealed don't ever give

up. Now we pray God's blessing on you. May He lead you into a deep and

accurate knowledge of his finished and ongoing work on your behalf, His

unfailing love and the place of rest He has prepared for you. May you strive to

enter that rest following the Holy Spirit's leading in all things. Finally, may

we all see the glory of the Lord revealed in our day for His Name's sake. We

love you and rest in your prayers, thanking God for you with great joy!